Rants in the Pants

I want to see one of those semi reality shows that involve dare devils and extreme sports that always seem to say: Even though the salmon run speedboat jump up Niagara Falls was a massive disaster Idaho’s Rodney Pickering despite massive internal injuries ”miraculously” survived. You never hear that these idiots were killed instantaneously as their bodies were torn to shreds beneath the torrents of ice cold water which had the force comparable to a pack of hyenas devouring a carcass.
No you never hear that. Something else you never hear is: after months of rehabilitation and extensive surgeries most of which required emergency organ transplants do you hear “I was genuinely wrong when I attempted to break the sound barrier on my skateboard I have used this experience and the generous donations I received to go to university and eventually get a real job helping to educate the next generation on my mistakes. No you always hear: Imadoitagin!